Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val
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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

Life After Farming Can Have A Soft Landing

November 17, 1997

Did you know that 80 to 85 percent of ex-farm families make successful transitions and are happy with their lives a few short years after leaving farming? It's true. It is a tribute to human resiliency and coping that people can adjust their lives even after leaving a family farm. Many say they should have done it sooner.

The remaining 15 percent or so are the "walking wounded" from the 80s or from whatever era they left agriculture. It is likely that they are depressed, angry and fixated on their views that they were unjustly deprived of a life they loved.

Fortunately attrition from agriculture is more voluntary today. For many, farming is no longer fun. It is too stressful, the hours are long, and the rewards and income are no longer sufficient. This is especially true for farmers on smaller, mid-size family farms with a conservative management style. A strategy of cost containment is no longer competitive with today’s larger, technology-driven corporate farms.

This decision is not made easily. It takes several bad years in a row to get people to the point where they can leave a lifestyle, a profession they love and are good at and a community where they have strong affectionate bonds with friends, relatives and neighbors.

Stress in the family is a contributing factor. It becomes obvious that the farmer and/or his wife is unhappy. They see the effect on each other and the children. Off farm income has been added to the mix and still doesn't make a difference. People look at the prices they get for their products and the lack of control they have with their income. They don't see anything on the horizon that tells them its going to be any different.

The following letter captures the feeling many farm families share.

"I am sure we weren't lazy or bad managers. Our production costs were lower than most of our neighbors. Our output was 'well above average' . . . We didn't spend money foolishly or play 'keep up with the neighbors.' Weather and markets occurred in such a way that created an impossible situation for us to make a profit.

"Input costs are a lot higher now. A 'good price' becomes a relative term. For us there was not enough equity to gamble while waiting for better times. None of these things were our fault. We had no control over any of the factors leading to our failure. We decided to get out before we lost everything.

"When we examined our lives, we found that our marriage, kids and lifestyle were all suffering because of a business we kept trying to salvage. 'Good times' will return to the farm. I know they will eventually. But in the meantime, the really important things in our life may have been sacrificed.

"Pride is hard to swallow, but life is short. Business failure is painful, but personal failure can be devastating. I loved our business but my family and marriage come first. I'll gamble with money, but not with my family and home.

"Remember, failure isn't 'catchy.' Some folks have been enjoying our predicament. I suppose that's because our downfall must seem to make their position or status higher or more superior. If so, I feel really sorry for them. If one's success, contentment and self-esteem are enhanced by another's misfortune, then that person is to be pitied more than the failure."'

For people who make this choice, there are opportunities and options. The non-farm economy cries out for skilled workers with common sense, a troubleshooting mentality and the rural work ethic. Farmers underestimate their skills and how they can fit into a non-farm economy. They need to explore their options and be open-minded about the fact that they already have a lot to offer.

There are also training and post-secondary education opportunities. Women with farming backgrounds thrive as non-traditional students and begin careers they always wanted to try.

People have to give up the moral and purposeful goal of their role as family farmers in feeding the nation and the world. They need to find a purpose to make their new work meaningful. This will take time. It may take two or three years to replace the love of agriculture with a new dream. There is usually a rough period of adjustment as ex-farmers work through their grief, get used to a town or city lifestyle and find a niche that suits them and offers creative challenge.

Meanwhile, living with neighbors "next door," lack of open spaces, no caring for animals, nervousness about raising children in town, and a dislike for traffic congestion are tough adjustments for these transplants.

For some ex-farmers the change in occupation has immediate benefits. They experience relief from the stress of big debts, a more reasonable workload, and more family time - home in the evenings, on weekends and real vacations. For many, getting out of agriculture opens up this world of family time and less pressured finances.

The ex-farmer comments, "We have 'fun.’ We laugh, go for walks. We go on 'dates.' We enjoy the kids. We laugh a lot. We are getting through this. All the really important things are just fine. We feel the excitement of beginning a new chapter in our lives. And we'll remember the good parts of the chapter just ending - and all the good people."

This is a message of hope many farmers need to hear.