Dr. Val FarmerDr.Val
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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

The Lakota View Of Dying

September 18, 1995

I was privileged to hear Sidney Keith, a Lakota spiritual leader, talk about how the Lakota (Sioux Indians) view death. He has been a teacher for ten years at the Oglala Community College extension program in Rapid City.

"We live and then we live again.

"We don't like the word 'death'. We say `leave this world and go on a spirit trail.’ To go on a spirit trail is good. It is not as terryifying as the word 'die' or 'death'.

"We are a united family, not broken by changes in time and space. We are linked together across the generations by our commitment to each other.

"When we die, we will see all our relatives. The relations will live together again. Society will function the same as it does here. When we die, we will wait for our descendants to join us. Death is a painful separation for we Lakota are a social people."

As a man in his seventies, Keith described the pain of missing his parents, his brothers and sisters and friends from his generation. "I feel like I am all alone. All my relatives are gone. We will be together again and our grief will be over."

His thoughts turned to the future and he acknowledged that he was not alone. "No, the kids and grandchildren are around." He talked about his need to tell them stories of his life, stories of relatives, stories from the past and stories that explain the future.

Keith described how death to the Lakota way of life is an event that should be experienced in the family, similar to the philosophy of the hospice movement. "People need to die with the comfort and assurance of relatives."

Keith talked about his role as a spiritual advisor in a Native American Drug and Alcohol halfway house and as a counselor to people with drug and alcohol problems. He tells his people, "Life is important. Life is sacred. You can't use sex to make you feel good. You can't use alcohol to make you feel good. We need to walk a straight road. A red road. We need to clean ourselves to be with our relatives."

"People have to be clean so they have no trouble finding the gate to get into the spiritual world. They have to be clean in body, heart, mind and soul. Lakota ceremonies such as sweat lodges, sun dances and vision quests help clean people so they are ready. It is tough to get into the spirit world. We have to walk in a sacred manner. If you come back clean, the door is there and you are welcome."

"We don't believe in cremation. If you lose a leg, you will find your leg. No parts are missing. All will be united."

"Alcohol destroys families. We don't drink. Alcohol will take the best ones and tear them apart. It will tear the world apart. When there is divorce and parents neglect their responsiblities, the children do not feel love. Children live in a world without love anymore. Kids want love."

Keith offered some advice to his largely white audience. "White people are living too fast. They are going too fast. Young people are getting old faster. They burn up too early. Everything is run, run, run. They are in a hurry to get more money. That is why they have heart attacks."

Keith concluded with, "Smile a little. It is good for you." He elaborated, "Humor, laughter, joking around, giving each other a bad time, these things teach you a more humble life. You can concentrate more on how you should live on earth."

In learning about the Lakota view of death, I learned a little about life. "Smile a little. Slow down."

Thanks for the advice, Sidney. I for one needed to hear that.