Marriage Is Not Only Divine But Practical

In their book, "The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier and Better Off Financially," sociologists Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher assemble an impressive array of statistics that document the beneficial effects of matrimony.

More women are choosing to be single. Currently, forty percent of all adult females are single, up 30 percent from 1960. In 1960, 83 percent of all women between 25 and 55 were married. Now the percentage is 65 percent.

A misguided statistical analysis 30 years ago created the popular belief that marriage was beneficial for men and detrimental for women. Waite and Gallagher thoroughly debunk that myth. Television, through shows like "Sex and the City" depict single women in the fast lane being delighted with their single status. They are shown having plenty of recreational sex, enjoying money and career and a hassle-free life free of marital expectations and child-rearing responsibilities.

Not so according to Waite and Gallagher. Married people live longer and are healthier. They make less risky choices, are wealthier, have fewer alcohol problems and have more satisfying sexual relationships. Here’s what they found:

Health: Nine out of 10 married men alive at age 48 are alive at age 65. With bachelors, only six of 10 men lived to age 65. With married women alive at 48, nine out of 10 survive to age 65 while 8 of ten single women do. An analysis showed that married people start practicing healthier lifestyles after they marry. Married couples encourage responsible health behavior in each other and care for each other when sick. Marriage generally reduces stress and creates better immunity in the body.

Recent research presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society in Monterey, California, shows that divorced men are more likely to drink, smoke, commit suicide, develop Alzheimer's disease and die prematurely. In the current trial of nearly 30,000 men, vegetable intake declined by more than three servings per week in men following the death of a spouse, and nearly two servings per week after a divorce. Divorced men were also more likely to smoke than their married peers but those who remarried were likely to quit, findings show. Widowed men were more likely than married men to drink heavily--more than 21 drinks a week.

Dr. Ichiro Kawachi from Harvard School of Public Health in Boston, Massachusetts speculates that the health of newly singled and widowers decline because of the absence of their wives’ influence and contributions to medical visits, health consciousness and cooking. Newly single men also increased their consumption of fried foods outside the home.

In an earlier study, divorce or marital separation more than doubled the risk of suicide in men but was unrelated to suicide risks in women. Another study linked lower blood pressure in men with their social support from a spouse.

Money: It only takes 1.5 times as much money to support two people living together then if they lived apart. This isn’t the case for cohabiting couples. They generally don’t share their money in a common budget and don’t invest together. They manage their money through separate accounts and take separate trips or vacations.

At retirement age, a typical married couple has accumulated a total of $410,000 or $205,000 per person. The never marrieds average $167,000; the divorced have $154,000; the widowed have $151,000 and the separated have less than $96,000. Married couples have more than twice the assets of other households. Instead of a couple not affording to get married, they can’t afford not to. Apparently children aren’t the drain on family life that one might think.

Violence. Waite and Gallagher reviewed the domestic violence literature and noted that married men are proportionately far less violent than men in other relationships. Divorced and single women are four to five times as likely to be victims of crime, ten times more likely to be victims of rape, and three times more likely to be victims of aggravated assault. The preponderance of violence against women is perpetrated by boyfriends, cohabiting men and ex-husbands. Child abuse happens much more frequently with boyfriends, cohabiting partners and stepfathers than it does with married husbands who are biological fathers.

Sex. Married couples have more sex and enjoy it more than singles. In one national survey, 43 percent of men reported having sex at least twice a week. Compare that with slightly more than one percent of single men not cohabiting who have the same level of sexual activity. Single men are 20 times more likely to be celibate than married men.

It is true that cohabiting couples have sex on average one more time a month than married couple - but they enjoy it less. Fifty percent of married men and 42 percent of married women find sex physically and emotionally satisfying. That compares to 39 percent each for cohabiting men and women.

There is a danger in looking just at the benefits of marriage as one would another consumer report. This same narrow means-ends logic, that is used as a motive for marriage, can also justify divorce. These facts must be coupled with the lofty ideals of self-sacrificial love - a mutually fulfilling spiritual union proclaimed by religious traditions. Happy marriages are one of the main keys to a happy life. Young singles need to know that. Marriage is divine but also practical.