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Rural Mental Health & Family Relationships

Former Farmers Give Advice

October 7, 2002

This column contains excerpts of a Master’s Thesis by Stephen Josh Frazier at North Dakota State University. It is based on his interviews with farmers experiencing farm crisis and loss.

Frazier was impressed by how many of the farmers expressed empathy and concern for other farmers who were still farming. They seemed to have a sincere hope that things would go well for those still fighting for agriculture and their way of life, but they were also concerned about the single-minded determination often found in farmers because it can lead to challenges. Here’s some advice they wanted to share with other farmers facing tough decisions.

Know the finances. "I would have been more actively involved with the financial end so I understood it. . . . It wasn’t that he didn’t tell me; it was that I chose not to be involved. I chose just to sign my name and not look at what it was that I was signing. I trusted that it was going to be fine instead of being a responsible adult and understanding things. Instead of expecting him take care of it I would be a part of it and be a partner." - A farm wife who found out too late about major problems.

"My advice for family farm operations, where one person is in charge of the books, would be to have a meeting and open up the books every month. Open the books to all members involved so everybody can see what’s going on. If the person who is in charge of the books doesn’t want to show you what’s going on, you better get an attorney and subpoena them to take a look at them. And argue it out, regardless if it is your brother, your uncle or even your father. I’ve heard so many stories, it is unbelievable. I know guys who are 40 years old who don’t know what their books look like. Their dad keeps the books and they don’t dare ask. Well, they better wake up. I just wish there was some way to enlighten the farmers who are still out there." - A farmer who wasn’t involved in the farm finances.

Quit while you are ahead. "Don’t wait so long. My husband sold his beet stock because it would give him enough money for one more year. If we hadn’t, we would have had something to pay our debt off. When you start selling assets to pay for farming, you have gone too far. Don’t go that extra mile. We needed to be more honest and open with how bad it was. When you start selling your assets you know you are going backwards. If I have any advice for anybody it is to get out while you still can pay the debts. Because there is a point that you can. Our debts are making it just absolutely miserable for us now." - A farmer’s wife.

"Get out if you see it’s going backwards and you still have equity. Get out and let somebody else rent the land. That’s what I tried to do here. We quit and let somebody else come in and rent the land. If you own the land and the farm economy turns around where it would be more profitable to farm, you can get into it tomorrow. That’s no problem. But if you don’t have the land it’s impossible to get back in." - A farmer who held on to his land.

"Yeah, get out. Financially it takes a couple different ways of doing it, but go to advisors of some kind. Strategically look at your finances, know where you are at all times. Don’t get in too deep." - A farmer who sought financial and legal advice.

Getting help. ". . . Take some breaks, and have some enjoyment with your family. Be as open as you can. Even though we could get financing again without any problem we knew it was time to get out. Get all the help you can in every direction, financial, mental, and physical. Farmers need to look at their operations and get it through their heads that it is not worth a life or mental health or physical health. There are other things to do in life and if the neighbors are going to talk the neighbors are going to talk whether you make it or fail." - A farmer who chose to quit

"Farmers are very self-sufficient and they take everything on themselves. They need the support of each other. It may not be your next-door neighbor, it could be somebody in the next county or two counties away that you run into at one of these retreats. They just talk and throw things back and forth. It’s really a unique way to get feelings out. So, it’s not such a big load, you and somebody else can carry it together. It was very good for me to see others and for others to see me open up to each other and in order to know that we are not alone out there." - A farmer who attended a retreat for farm couples.

Don’t blame yourself. "Move on, don’t dwell on it, I mean don’t even think that you are at fault for having to quit farming. It’s nobody’s fault, it’s just the economics is what it was. Some people are a little better leveraged than other people were and that’s how they make it through. But everybody was losing at that time, everybody was losing their equity. You just have to put that behind you. It’s not your fault. You don’t have to feel bad about it. Just move on, get a job and go to work. . . . I think if people dwell on it too much it just tears them apart and what’s the point of that?" - A former farmer who has made a good adjustment

For a verbatim transcription of this and more farmer’s advice, go to www.valfarmer.com and click on sample columns and look for this title. Quotes used with permission of Josh Frazier.